CONGESTED WALRUS

The Blocked-Nose Behemoth

Stuffy. Snorty. One sneeze away from ending the round.

Stats

snore Power95

chaos55

sleepiness85

dignity20

Snoring style

Blocked, nasal, honking, and dangerously pressurized. His breathing sounds like a trumpet attempting to function through winter congestion. Each snore promises either a tiny wheeze or a sudden atmospheric event.

Fighting style

Congested Walrus is slow, heavy, and powered by nasal systems failure. He pokes with the enormous spray bottle, swats with it two-handed, and sometimes points the nozzle behind himself to produce the least dignified form of assisted propulsion ever documented. Every attack feels like a desperate attempt to get one clear breath that accidentally becomes someone else's injury.

SIGNATURE MOVE: NASAL AVALANCHE

Congested Walrus squeezes a ridiculous mint-cyan mist burst from the huge nosespray bottle. For one fleeting instant, hope appears. Then a catastrophic sneeze-snore blast erupts from his congested nostrils and sends his entire heavy body somersaulting toward the opponent. His robe, moustache, tissue box, and slippers flap violently in the recoil. The attack barely improves his breathing. It absolutely ruins everyone else's day.

Combat profile

SpeedNasal Drift

ImpactCongestion Front

PressureBuilding

Snore TypeBlocked Trumpet

Special ItemHuge Nosespray Bottle

WeaknessSeasonal allergies, empty tissues, false relief

Move highlights

Nosespray Poke— A two-handed bottle nudge made in search of airspace.

Bottle Swat— Broad nasal distress with fluttering tissues.

Sneeze Uppercut— Cheeks inflate before the whole problem pops upward.

Mist-Jet Charge— Backward-facing spray propulsion followed by recoil failure.

Nasal Avalanche— A pressurized airborne nasal disaster.

"I can almost breathe..."

Choose Congested Walrus if...

You believe every fight should begin as a sinus complaint and end as a low-pressure weather warning.